Mood:
chillin'Now Playing: Brand New World (Inuyasha ending theme #6) by V6
I decided to just start my weight loss journal before I head out to my first meeting at Florida Hospital & US Bariatrics.
Alot of people haven't seen me for about 4 years. Since my move to Florida, I've changed alot. My kids have pretty much grown up. Barry starts college soon, Devon is a senior in high school and Stasi is a freshman. Unfortunately, they all have my body type. Barry is on the edge of being overweight, Devon is overweight and Stasi is, sorry to say, obese. I don't allow junk food in the house and we rarely eat at fast food joints. Because of my severe diabetes, we eat a healthier diet and smaller portions but they still have problems. Stasi inheirited my notoriously weak ankles, which put an end to a very promising softball career. She still rollerblades, bikes and takes long walks with Devon and the dogs. Nothing seems to help. We fear weightloss surgery may be in her future as well ... although we will only consider the lapband technique and only if we exhaust all other options with the doctor.
I've changed alot in the last 4 years. I don't care what people think of me as long as I'm happy with myself. I have discovered that, in the end, I only have to live with me.
Getting onto to other ramblings, mom is fine ... enjoying her 5th retirement .... which she says is the absolute last (Thank goodness!). She chills around the house watching the aquarium, playing on the computer, watching tv, reading and playing with her new kitten, Li'L Bit Jr (Bitsy). Yes, we have MORE!!! Check out the pet pages once again ...
Mom is getting old. She was diagnosed with fibromialgia and hurts constantly. She also suffers from sleep apnea. She hardly drives anymore and never at night. She will drive the 8 miles to the store but can no longer handle the extensive driving it takes to get anywhere else around here.
In regards to that, with Chris, Liz and James now living here, we are moving when our lease expires in November. Temporarily, we will move to a larger 4 bedroom home here in Poinciana so that Devon can graduate and Stasi finish her freshman year. I have regretted the decision all along of moving out of Orange County with the ease of getting everywhere and moving us to the backwoods. So, for mom's sake, and the sake of Chris, Liz and I who are working in Orange County, in the summer we will move to a large home in Northern Orange County and do a lease purchase option to assist us in getting a large enough down payment to buy. This will drop our monthly gas budget tremendously.
As I said earlier, I have changed alot. I thoroughly believe it is a parent's right and responsibility to embarass their kids. I do just that. I enjoy bebopping down the road in an amusement park or a restaurant (hey ... they have that music for a reason ...right?). My mother says I am going through my second childhood ... I say simply ... you have to grow old ... growing up is optional.
So with that in mind, as a present to moi when I lose my weight, I plan to get a belly button piercing and some tattoos ... yes you heard right ... tattoos. I have always wanted some ... I plan to get a ring of purple rosebuds around my right ankle with a blue butterfly landing on an open rose. On my left shoulder back, I want a fairy. On my right shoulder back, I want Inuyasha's name in kanji with his face and the Tessaiga beside it and last, but, not least, I want a heart at the base of my back made out of my kids' names in their favorite colors. Hey, I plan to fight growing old every step of the way ... I may turn 40 in a few months ...but I sure as shit don't have to act like it!
I still plan on finishing my college and get my degree ... but Chris and Liz have gracious offered to help me out by us staying together in case my mother should pass on before I achieve my goals. I'm really glad we are still friends.
Yes, I believe in ghosts. I have documented proof they exist. One such proof, I own a myriad of Inuyasha memorabilia. The action figures and dolls are held fast with a sticky dot called "Zots" ... usually more than one. Yet, time after time, I will find my dolls rearranged in the morning when I wake up. Some dolls on the top shelf - others on the floor ... all neatly arranged. Now, cats cannot do that, Stasi is asleep, and my boys are not playing pranks (they have trouble picking them up because are of the Zots - I HAVE trouble moving them.) So, obviously, I have a playful ghost. I know my pets that have crossed over to the Rainbow Bridge are still with me because there are times I will feel a cat jump up on my bed, turn around and lay down. Yet, when I look to see who it is, the bed is empty but there is clearly an indentation in the bed as if something is laying there and if I move my leg to the spot, I cannot move it OVER the spot ... something blocks my way. There is no other explanation. I, also, have felt my father's presence and have heard his voice from time to time. My mother has seen his spirit in her room, watching her. Call it dreams or our imagination ... I won't believe it.
Ok, that's all I have to say for now. I will post Thursday after I visit Florida Hospital and meet the surgical team. I will let you know how it goes and see when I can schedule my surgery for and what hoops I have to jump through (and how much $$$ I have to come up with) to get in the program!!
Bye for now!
